One of the most common messages that slide into my DM is ‘you are always so happy’, ‘your life looks perfect’. The other night I was sat in the garden when another ‘your weekend looks perfect’ rolled in and I thought to my self. Number one, what the hell is perfect?!? And two I am so lucky, I have a great life but I work so hard for it and it’s a conscious decision everyday!
The last few years I went to hell and back going through a business buy out, losing friends that were like family and realising that I had been used for years for someones elses gain. All at the same time as going through multiple failed IVF treatments, I had reached my limit.
I was depleted, heart-broken and frankly pissed off at the world. I could have become a bitter and twisted person, focused on the money lost and the friendships gone but where would that have gotten me? Don’t get me wrong for pretty much the whole of 2016 self-care went out the window, I was in full-blown survival mode, just trying to get through the day so I could go back to bed. But I drew a line in the sand and made the decision that while ever I had air in my lungs I would never have another year like 2016. Life can’t be lived at that level of stress and overwhelm all the time.
So 2017 rolled in and I was on a mission. I was turning 30, I had already started removing toxic people from my life, I set healthy boundaries, I focused on the things that made me happy. Wether that was walking to dog, reading a book or simply sitting in silence at 5am with Lou Chops. I declined invitations without apology, I stayed home and pottered in the garden and I blooming loved it!
Come the end of 2017 I had never felt so myself! I knew what I liked to eat again, what I liked to wear and what made me happy and I didn’t feel the need to explain it to anyone!
So far 2018 has been wonderful! Don’t get me wrong, I still have all of the normal life stresses of bills and running my own business but bigger picture wise I have never been so happy and content, because I know me and I’m not sorry about any of it.
If you were like me and a little lost in the wilderness of life here are my top tips on figuring out what makes you happy!
- Remember the things that you did as a child-and do them! For me it was hand lettering and painting! I blooming loved it and as an adult life took over and I hadn’t done it for years!
- Spend time alone. Spending time alone really forces you to find the things you want to do without anyones elses influence.
- Decline invites. If it’s not something you really, really want to do don’t do it! There is nothing worse than making plans and then dreading them!
- Completely disregard people’s opinions of you. If I had a pound for every sly comment, side eye or joke cracked at what I was doing I’d be loaded! In my experience other people opinions are more of a reflection on them than you and half the time they are just envious that they don’t have the courage to chase their own dreams.
I’m not happy because I roll around in a bed of £20 notes, buy designer shoes or fly around the world in first class. I’m happy because I choose to be. Happiness is a conscious choice that I choose daily. It’s not a luxury resort that once you get to your there forever because-life! Its finding the joy in everything, that blooming flower, the person that let you go ahead at the store because you only have one item. It’s knowing the core things/people that bring you joy and clinging to them whilst you put fires out in other areas of your life!
In the words of my wise friend Becca– ‘Make today great, wether it is or not the choice is always yours!’